What is Real Forgiveness?

Why is it that "little" things seem to cause "big" eruptions in relationships? It might be that real forgiveness is not taking place on a regular basis. Life together means offenses against one another and the need for both asking and granting forgiveness. If forgiveness is not sought and when sought is not given, disease inevitably sets into any relationship.

Of course one can ask for forgiveness and not really mean it. That is, I can ask for forgiveness even though I believe I am the one who was in the right, just to make peace. That doesn't count in terms of relational healing! And one can grant forgiveness and not really mean it. That is, I can say, "I forgive you" but not really release the offense and therefore leave with the perfect recipe for long-term bitterness.

What is real forgiveness? We are commanded in Ephesians 4:32 to be "forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven" us. What does that mean?

Forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven us means to let the offense go and to promise NEVER to bring it up again. The glorious New Covenant promise to us in Jeremiah 31:34 is, "I will forgive their iniquity and remember their sin no more." This means at least 3 things:

• I will never bring this offense up to you to use against you again.
• I will never bring this offense up to someone else to color their opinion of you.
• I will never bring this offense up in my mind to stew over and rekindle anger against you.

So...do YOU know how to forgive as you are commanded to forgive, as God in Christ has forgiven you? This kind of forgiveness can suck the remaining venom out of your relationships and infuse them with joy.

May 2008 be a year of Real Forgiveness for you and from you!