An EIGHTH guideline for Biblical Communication:
"If someone having a problem with another brother comes to you before they go to that brother, encourage and urge them to go to their brother right away and to talk over the problem with them FIRST."
You can help a brother who has come to you first by PRAYING with them for courage and humility and wisdom as they go to their brother. Let them lovingly know that for them to share details with you would very possibly be gossip. Encourage them that Christ will be with them because He loves His body and He loves peace. You might also give some general advice regarding how to approach a brother with the problem.
Of course, there may be times when sharing SOME details will be necessary for you to help someone. They may need help to identify just what the offense was biblically or they may need help with how to approach their brother. This can be done WITHOUT sharing the identity of a brother and without sharing UNNECESSARY DETAILS about what has happened. A general rule in talking to someone about their conflict with a third party is: focus on the person present and not the person absent.
NEVER allow someone to vent their anger or spew their bitterness towards a brother in your presence.
You might also volunteer your help if the reconciling process is not going well and BOTH this brother and the other brother are open to your mediation.
Other exceptional situations might be a child going to an adult or an abused person going to their abuser or a male going to seek reconciliation with a non-family member female. In such cases there may well be need for someone to go with a brother from the first contact. In such a case, we must be earnestly dependent on the Holy Spirit for a spirit of impartiality and grace and wisdom and peace-making.
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