"Believe the best about others. Hope the best for them. Trust God for this kind of anti-critical love and God-centered hope."
"Love...is ever ready to believe the best of every person" I Corinthians 13:7 (Amplified Bible)
Why is this a guideline for biblical communication? Because if we truly believe the best about every person in our life is will UTTERLY TRANSFORM the way we speak to them! How often our offense at a brother is birthed in the context of a heart that EXPECTS the WORST from them. Do we really want our brothers to fail? Do we want them to want US to fail?
HOW can we honestly believe the best about our brothers? By trusting that OUR GOD is THEIR GOD and that He is a God who NEVER GIVES UP on us or them. God is at work transforming the hearts of His people. The God who commands us to believe the best of our brother is at work giving us hearts that can do just that! The Holy Spirit who indwells us and our brother is the Spirit of LOVE...love that believes the best.
No one on this earth has absolutely PURE motives. However, the children of God are constantly being transformed into the image of the ONE who was PURE in every word and thought throughout His holy life on earth (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 3:18). If God is doing this in us and in our brothers then it is a reasonable thing to believe the best of them.
One reason we often take offense and expect the worst is that we think we know the HEARTS of others. We reason that a person's motives were clear when they said or did a certain thing. But once again...we ONLY CAN KNOW what we SEE or HEAR. We DO NOT know the motives of others. There is ONE heart-knower, and He is not US! Therefore, knowing that a certain word or phrase or action can have a hundred possible motives behind it...good and bad...it is a safer and wiser and more humble thing to BELIEVE THE BEST.
We also tend, like the culture we live in, to believe the worst of those we do not have affinity with or that we are not close to or just plain for whatever reason DON'T LIKE.
If you tend to be quickly critical of your brothers and to believe the WORST of them, what can you do to change?
- Remind yourself what kind of sinner you are and what an arrogant thing it is to assume God's position and judge my brother.
- Remind yourself that you do not know the heart of your brother. Never have, never will.
- Remind yourself that the Lord of hearts who is at work in you by grace is also at work in your brother producing genuine Christ likeness...from the heart outward.
- PRAY to God to give you a daily filling of the HOLY SPIRIT of "believing all things" love. He delights to answer that prayer: Luke 11:13. Pray this especially if you are going to be around brothers that you naturally have a difficult time with.
- By a believing act of the will, CHOOSE to believe the best. Talk to yourself: "Self, this is my brother (or sister). They are part of the same body of Christ as I am. They have the same sanctifying Lord that I do. He is at work in them. I am commanded to love them...and I DO. I WILL believe that what they say and do is meant to honor the Lord."
- Be THANKFUL for your brother. Thankfulness is transforming. It is difficult to find reasons to be thankful for someone and to be suspicious and accusatory of them at the same time.
- In conversations with others, YOU be the one to speak positively about a brother and to put the best interpretation on what someone has said or done.
Of course, clearly sinful words or actions do not need to be interpreted at a heart level. Sinful words (profanity, angry abuse) are sinful. Sinful actions (stealing, adultery, hitting in anger) are sinful. If we hear or witness these kinds of things from our brother, our responsibility is to go to them and confront them and challenge them to repent...in love.
But our problem is more often taking offense because we have not believed the best of our brother. May our Lord transform us into those whose first reaction FROM THE HEART is to believe the best of our brothers and sisters.
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