10 Basic Guidelines for Biblical Communication - 2

A SECOND Guideline for Biblical Communication: "Say only what builds others up."

Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

This verse is SO clear, isn't it? HOW MUCH corrupting talk can come out of my mouth and my speech still please the Lord? NONE! Ouch! "Corrupting" is a word that was used to describe rotten fish or fruit. Can my words actually have the effect of causing ROT or CORRUPTION in another person's life? Yes. For example: if I slander someone to the person I am speaking with, I can easily cause heart-rot in them if they choose to listen to what I am saying and allow it to affect their attitude towards the slandered person. This happens all too commonly in the church. I have been guilty of this too many times, from both sides. Or, if I repeat a joke that is "off-color" I can cause corruption of heart in my friend by causing past wickedness to pop up in their thoughts. Complaining, gossip, angry words, lying, etc. can cause the same rot in those around me.

A great antidote to words that corrupt is to focus on speaking ONLY words that do the opposite: BUILD UP. Words that are good for building up are words that help my brother or sister GROW IN CHRIST. They are words that cause them to think on the GREATNESS of CHRIST. They are words that hold out the TRUTH of SCRIPTURE. They are words that remind others that GOD IS FAITHFUL. They are words that honor and commend and are thankful. They are words, as the verse says, that "fit the occasion."

It will pretty much always be true that corrupting words flow out of SELFISH motives. But BUILDING UP words flow out of OTHER-CENTERED motivation. To speak words that build up necessitates speaking words that fit the situation my brother or sister OR LOST neighbor is facing. To know what fits the occasion requires that I care enough about my brother or friend to ask questions about what is happening in their life and to LISTEN to their reply (including the "non-verbals" that say so much without sound). It is ASTOUNDING how little true, caring listening goes on in our world. It was said of C.S. Lewis that when you were with him he had a way of making you feel that you were the only person on earth - so carefully and caringly did he listen and respond.

We need to ask ourselves: "When I am in conversations, do I do all the talking? Do I really listen to others? Do I ask questions about THEM? Do I care to hear them or only to be heard? WHOSE WORLD am I focusing on? Am I looking for their needs to be exposed and praying for wisdom to give a BUILDING UP word from the Scriptures to help them?"

Of course, our words have real building up power when they reflect the truth of Scripture. In Acts 20:32, the Apostle Paul spoke of "the word of His grace, which is able to build you up..." The more I know and understand the Word of God, the more I can speak words that truly build others up, whether the SANCTIFICATION of believers or towards the SALVATION of unbelievers.

May God grant us to be more dependently and intentionally communicators of BUILDING UP words for the good of our brothers, and may NO words that cause HEART-ROT come out of our mouths.